The Heart of the Matter

On March 17th, I went into the hospital to have a cardiac ablation. This procedure is supposed to keep my heart from racing out of control. It will take a whole year to see if the process was successful. It has left me tired. I am ready to move but my body is not. I try to argue with myself but it does no good. I am always defeated by my lack of energy.

So what's a woman to do? The problem is I want what I want when I want it. Sound familiar? God is so gracious and patient with me. He is teaching me to wait on Him. My heart has to learn this as I progress through this time. The procedure had nothing to do with my heart attitude. I am afraid that I am the only one who can control that!

The surgeon worked on my heart for six hours. Wouldn't it be great if I could correct my attitude in six hours? This next year will come and go and I will still be working on my attitude. My desire is that I will be more in line with Jesus at the end of this year than I am now. And the year after that...and the year after that...and the year after that...conforming more to His Image.

The heart of the matter is whether my heart beats too fast or too slow, I have to have a heart attitude that's becoming more and more like Jesus. I thank God for giving me the new heart in Him, a pliable heart not a heart of stone. I thank God for His Spirit who lives within me to guide me and give me discernment. I thank God for His Word which gives me direction as I live out my life. When I think on these things, I can lay back in my chair in peace just resting in Him.

A Weekend with the Princess

Last weekend Ronn and I were excited to have Addy, our granddaughter, stay with us. She is the Princess in her home with three older brothers. They watch out for her and treat her differently than they treat each other. They are a little more tolerant and gentle with her. So the Princess came to stay for two nights and three days. We did many things together. If I was in the kitchen, she moved the chair right next to me and stood on it offering her help with whatever I was doing. She loves to crack eggs so we made sugar cookies. I let her crack the eggs and stir the batter. The only problem was that I could not turn my head away from her because when I did the spoon went into her mouth. She had sugar all over her face along with the raw egg. It's not a wonder kids get sick! Anyway she loved making the cookies.

We wanted to have a movie with her in the evenings. I was sure she would choose a "veggie tale" but she chose "Star Wars", the first one. This three year old princess sat and watched the movie loving every minute of it. After that, the entire weekend was spent wanting to watch it again. The cutest thing was when she told Ronn that he was Darth Vader and she was Princess Leia. She made the light saber sound and fought with him. Of course, she always won.

We played a card game, Skip-bo, with her for all of 10 minutes. She played 'hide and seek' with Papa a few times. She loves to play that with him. She hid one time on the couch by putting her hands on her eyes. It was precious. What a little Princess!

But then something happened a few times, my little Princess disappeared! These times involved the insubordination of her subjects (Papa and Grandma) when they refused her what she demanded. She folded her arms, stuck out her lip and ran to the bedroom to talk to herself. Is that the behavior of a Princess?? It never lasted very long. She would return to seek to reign her subjects going in a different direction. The great thing about it for her is that her subjects(Papa and Grandma) loved her just the same whether she had sugar all over her face, was fighting Darth Vader or running to the bedroom. Because that's the way we roll!

Aren't you glad that God rolls in just the same way! As His child I know that He loves me and nothing I can do will change that love or get in the way of that love or separate me from that love. I am so humbled by that fact! I hope that the next time I am sticking my lip out because I didn't get my way, I will remember it!

A Challenge For Humility

This week my grandson, Seth, gave me a short paragraph he had typed about me. He is learning to type and write paragraphs and had actually done it for school. I am so glad he gave it to me. It will go into my keepsake box. I am going to share it below and you will see why I have been challenged.

"I have three favorite things about my Grandma. These things are kindness, happiness, and loving. My first favorite thing about my Grandma is that she's kind. She's kind because she'll play games with us. My second favorite thing about my Grandma is that she's always happy. I'm happy that she's happy or she won't be kind. My last thing I like about my Grandma is that she is loving. Its good to have a loving Grandma or else well she won't like you. I have the best Grandma in the world."

As I read this I smiled and shed a tear but then it started to sink in. How in the world can I live up to these three words?? It is humbling to think that this is the way I am seen by Seth but what a challenge to continue in that humility. It makes it all the more clear to me that I cannot do this on my own. I need the help of the Holy Spirit to strengthen me to practice these characteristics without being proud.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." Ephesians 5:22-26

We have read these verses but we like to concentrate on what the fruit of the Spirit is rather than the whole passage. Notice at the end we are warned about becoming conceited. As we see the fruit of the Spirit evidenced in our lives, we will be tempted to boast or be proud about what we are doing. In actuality when we do that we are not displaying the fruit of the Spirit at all, we are counterfeit. Do you see the challenge?? I am so glad Seth sees this in me and yet I need to remember that it is not me I want him to see. I want him to see Jesus.

Thank you Seth for your encouraging words. I will seek to yield myself to the Spirit and reflect Jesus in my actions. Because that is the only way to live!

The Two Day Event at Grandma's

On Thursday at about 10:30 a.m. my four grandkids arrived for a sleepover. They are still young enough to enjoy sleepovers at my house but I know those days will not last forever. That is one of the reasons I want to enjoy them while I have the opportunity. Each one of them enjoys personal attention so I was on (you know like being ON stage) for the entire day until bedtime. I played more games in one day than I have probably played in the last year. They love to play games. We made cookies. They love to crack eggs and stir up dough. We ate popcorn. They love popcorn. We watched a movie. They love movies. We had chicken legs for dinner. They love chicken legs...especially the bones. (one has a little collection :) We had french toast for breakfast. They love syrup. I passed out plenty of apples. They love apples.

As you can see I tried to make their time here revolve around what they love. But what I know for certain is that they enjoyed their sleepover because they love me. What a humbling thing to have four children in your care who do not have to be here but want to be!

The sleepover is here to stay as long they will participate. The reason is simple...I love my grandkids. I will cherish each and every moment together.

Thanks to each of you for your time this weekend. Thank you Seth for leading Addy in bedtime prayers. Thank you Everett for your consideration of my feelings when you did not like the smoothy. Thank you Tristan for your consideration of the feelings of the young man in Nino's when you did not like the chicken pot pie you tasted. Thank you Addy for your "I'm sorry, Grandma" whenever you thought you did something wrong. Thank you Kalin and Barb for allowing me to be a part of your children's lives. My thanks to God for giving me the experience of these four precious grandchildren.

I am putting my feet up now but they would hit the floor again if I heard little hands tapping at my door.

A Prayer of Joy for the New Year

Here we are 3 days into 2009. Whoa!!! I remember when I was a child always looking forward to 10 years of age, then it was 16, then it was 18, then 20 and then it all stopped. The looking forward to the next year, the next age was not something I really had time for. They just kept coming until now I am in the 21st century. Now that's weird!

What is so weird about it? I was born in 1952 if that tells you anything. I could make sense of black and white T.V. and now they tell me we are going digital. What??? So many changes. I used to think that my grandma had seen a lot of changes going from horse and buggy to cars, from radio to T.V. but now I realize I AM GRANDMA!! I have seen a lot of changes with many more to come to be sure. Can you believe it? I'm that grandma writing a blog. :) Now that makes me laugh.

There is one who is constant and has never changed from one century to the next. Who? My Savior, Jesus Christ. He has entered this new year with me. He has promised me He will never leave me or forsake me. He has given me His Spirit and His Word. He has sacrificed Himself for me. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. This means a lot to me as I see so many changes each and every day. I know I can count on Jesus no matter what changes.

What has Jesus promised me for this year? He has promised me if I seek to live my life His Way then I can have joy. He does not promise me happiness for there will be many things in this coming year which will bring me great sadness and pain. He does promise to be with me through the difficulties to come and to provide me with comfort and peace. His comfort and peace bring me joy in Him, not in my circumstances.

My prayer for you this year is joy. So I say to you Have a JOYFUL New Year as you trust in the ONLY Savior, Jesus Christ.

Remember when...

We have all said "remember when". Sometimes it is because we don't see the value of something until a long time after it happened. Other times it is because it is a precious time. I was reminded of this the other day.

Ronn and I were on our way to a wedding reception and were early so we stopped at my daughter's house to kill some time. My daughter and husband were still getting ready for the wedding so we were being entertained by the grand kids. My granddaughter was in my lap when my daughter came down the stairs. She looked up and said, "Mama you're a princess!". This was one of those "remember when" moments. It was precious and we will repeat it often in the future.

It really got me to thinking. I began to remember my daughter twirling in a dress with her blond hair flying. She was a little princess all dressed up and enjoying every minute of it. My little princess grew up and on her wedding day she was a grown-up princess in a beautiful white dress marrying her prince. My granddaughter reminded me of my grown-up daughter princess and all of the times in her life which I "remember when".

The prince or princess you have is a gift from God. Enjoy him or her. Treasure your time. Utilize your position as parent to point your prince or princess in the direction of their creator and Savior. The days go by too quickly and we allow so many things to get in our way. It is important to take time with these who are our future. I know that I missed many opportunities to enjoy my children because I simply allowed myself to get too busy or to be impatient. Don't regret! Don't be caught in a position of not enough "remember whens" in your life.

I enjoy my time with my grown-up princess more today than ever. She has grown-up into a godly woman who loves the Lord, her husband and her children. I am so thankful to the Lord for His gift to me.

The Eyes Have It!

Have you ever looked into some one's eyes? I mean really looked. If you have, you know how much is said by our eyes. Our eyes give away what we are thinking or what is in our heart. I remember one time when I was being corrected by a Mormon on a biblical passage. I was looking directly at him in what I thought to be just a listening manner. But my husband told me that my eyes were saying, "you do NOT know what you are talking about". I thought I was hiding my feelings but my eyes were giving me away.

There are many different messages given by people we pass each day. Some messages of sadness, others of anger, others of pain and then a few laughter. The problem is we really don't pay attention. It is probably not realistic for us to think we can pay attention to everyone. So what is our responsibility as followers of Christ to the eye messages around us?

In a crowd, a smile, a nod, a spoken hello goes a long way to connect with people we don't even know. With that connection may come encouragement for the one who is struggling.

In the church, a smile, a nod, a spoken hello and stopping to talk will make a difference in the life of those pair of eyes in need of a touch from family. We walk too fast and tend to be task focused. We don't stop and take time with our fellow believers. We are part of the same body, the body of Christ. We need to care for one another. If we did, what a difference for the cause of Christ would be made. Answer the eyes you meet in the hallways with love, compassion and empathy as you stop.

In our immediate family, a smile, a nod, a spoken hello, stopping to talk and being eye proactive. What I mean by eye proactive takes involvement. We should be so involved with our family members that we can foresee the thoughts coming before they are ever behind the eyes. This takes a lot of time and attention but cannot be overlooked as we seek to serve our families.

Those eyes say a lot. What do your eyes say? What do mine say? Do our eyes reflect who we are in Christ? Or do we have work to do? Christ's eyes were full of compassion as he looked at the crowds. He saw sheep without a shepherd. (Matthew 9:36) I thank God He looked and saw me and then saved me. I now have THE GOOD SHEPHERD. My desire is to follow my shepherd with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul and to reflect him with my eyes.