If...Then...

We are all familiar with if-then statements.  We say them all the time.  Some of those statements are very useful, others are superstitious and others are truth.

If-then statements can really be useful in parenting.  These can make it clear to a child what is expected and what the outcome will be if they are not obedient.  All questions are answered if things are made clear to children.  For instance, "If you do not clean your room, then you cannot go to your friend's house."  or "If you choose to be disrespectful in your tone, then you will be cleaning the bathroom tile with a toothbrush.".  This makes it clear the choice is the child's to be obedient.  Of course, these statements can be used to give rewards as well.  These types of if-then statements are useful.

If-then statements can be superstitious.  There are many that you have heard.  The one that seems to actually come true so often is, "If I wash my car, then it will rain.".  Two weeks ago Ronn and I washed the car and it was raining before nightfall.  I remember last summer my neighbor came out of his house and yelled at me because I was washing the car.  He yelled, "Hey, I don't want it to rain!  Stop washing your car!".  It rained the next day. :)  Of course, this doesn't always happen.  It is a fun if-then statement.  We certainly don't want to embrace this statement and never wash our car!

The truth is this that our God is not an if-then God.  We cannot manipulate Him into doing what we want by saying, "If I promise to do this for you God, then will you get me out of this situation?".  That is not the way God operates.  He works in His way and in His time.  He does not work for us, we work for Him.  Our desires will not be fulfilled by God because we bargain with Him.  Who are we to bargain with God?  We need to take time and remember who God is.

"For I the LORD do not change;..." Malachi 3:6a
"...I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please." Isaiah 46:10b
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are you ways my ways, declares the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The if-then statements we need to live by are:  "If I yield my will to God's then He will bring about spiritual maturity in me."    "If I face trials then God will give me the grace to handle them."  "If I face trouble then I will be comforted in Christ."  There are many, many more which reveal to us the promises of God. 

So wash your car and live your life for the glory of God even though you may get wet.

Another Mother's Day

In the past few days there have been different things which have happened concerning my mother's state of mind.  Since she has frontal lobe disorder I know that things are going to continue to change and those changes are in the category of "worse".  The few things that have happened since Wednesday are:  she has now started to leave the house before my father awakes to take a walk...the neighbor has written a note and posted it on the fence (a kind note) asking my mother to please not feed her dogs anymore...my mother has informed me that this same neighbor just purchased a lot of clothes as a gift for her.  Each one of these are not really huge but all together they are of great significance.

This morning, I cried.  I don't usually cry concerning my mother.  I handle it.  I accept it.  But today, I cried.  My mother is gone.  At least the one I knew so well.  The truth is I can't handle it and on many levels I don't want to accept it.  I needed to cry.  I know it is all right to cry and I would tell anyone else that.  But in my pride, I want to be strong.  The truth is I am not strong, I am weak and I need a greater strength than I have.  That's where God comes in.  He is the strength.  He is aware of this situation.  He knows my mother and loves her more than I ever could.  He knows me and loves me more than I realize.  I need HIM!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day!  My mother does not know that.  She will never even remember it when we are eating at a table together tomorrow.  She will tell stories of people who love her so very much.  She will tell stories of men wanting to marry her and of men wanting to marry me.  She will tell about people who pull her aside on the street just to say how much they love her daughter.  She will whisper in my dad's ear that she needs to go home because she is expecting an important phone call.  She will be mad when she realizes I am her ride and she can't get home when she wants to.  But in the midst of all that I know that God will give me a view of my mother which goes far beyond anything she will say.  I will see:

• The woman who let me polish her nails when I was only 4.
• The hair I sat on the back of the couch to brush as she closed her eyes in enjoyment.
• The woman who stepped out in faith and moved from Tennessee to Michigan to care for her children.
• The woman who curled my hair and caught me when I fainted.
• The woman who held me when my father died even though they had been divorce for so very long.  She gave me comfort.
• The woman who held my children and gave them great love as their grandma.
• The woman who is generous to a fault even to the point of now desiring to feed every dog she sees.

These are just a few of the things I will think about.  The only way I can do that is in the strength of Christ.  I can't handle it but He certainly can.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

In the Presence of Grace

The Student Ministries Pastor and my friend, Patrick McGoldrick, has been diagnosed with ALS. This has hit us all hard in the church and especially here on staff with him. He is young. He has a wife and two children. The diagnosis is not a good one but only God knows the outcome.

After we were told in a staff meeting, I began to pray for him and his family. I also began to wonder how I would act around him. What would I say? What should I do? I figured it would all be very uncomfortable. Nothing could be farther from reality.

I can only describe being with Patrick as being in the presence of grace, God's grace. There is no uneasiness in our conversation. It is all natural, normal and productive. It is not hard to speak with him about the future. In fact, I enjoy our conversations more now. The reason? I am in the presence of God's grace.

There are many times as a biblical counselor I have used Hebrews 4:16 as an encouragement..."Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."...But now I consider that I am in the thick of that verse. God's throne is being approached multiple times a day for Patrick and God's grace is being lavished on him.

I am privileged to serve along side this man. As I stand next to him, I too am the beneficiary of God's marvelous grace. What a privilege! Thank you God.